I just love listening to my elders. They can teach me so much.
I have become the driver to my septuagenarian family matriarch, and she has no idea how she blesses me every time we go somewhere, even if it's just to the doctor's office.
Take yesterday, for instance...
First, let me say that, when you roll with older people, you must be prepared to talk about any and every thing, and switch subjects at the drop of a dime. Also, know that, even the most educated, elegant, and refined of them, when they are passionate about something, their language tends to get a bit "bawdy". And, they READ EVERYTHING!!
She asked, "Have you been reading about Bill Cosby?"
Before I could answer, she said, "He's as old as hell.... Why do you think they waited this long to bring this mess up?" Pointing her finger at no one, she said... "Follow the money!!" She proceeded to talk about entertainers and athletes, and how it is common knowledge that they have followers, hangers-on who have a need to find their place in the limelight, so they go to a grown man's hotel room, late at night, alone, to have drinks and do "whatever else", and they get paid in the process. "They know what's going on, and they know what's going to happen, but they go anyway..." Her voice trailed off, while she thought for a moment. When she spoke again, she said, "He is about to reinvent himself, to do something big again, and they're trying to stop him!" Satisfied with her assessment of the matter, she stopped, and I pondered what she had said. I thought about her, and how she had, in the course of her 57-year-career, reinvented herself, upgraded her skills, studied to make her skills marketable, and moved up in her field... and even though she swears she has retired, I sense only a transition.
During our comfortable silence, she had been thinking, and suddenly she said, (and I felt like I was coming in on the middle of a conversation she had been having in her head), "and those girls who have come forward at UVA... What were they thinking when they went to fraternity parties alone, drinking?" Since it is both our alma mater, I wanted to hear what she thought. I had had this conversation with my "daughter-in-law" (my son's best friend, who I adopted as my own, married a Wahoo) the night before last, and we both agreed that it is a rule never to go anywhere alone, especially at night, in Charlottesville. That was true, even in the '70's, and she assured me that it was still true when she was there, and she graduated in 2013.
"What are mothers teaching their girls these days?"
I thought back a couple of weeks to my daughter's return to ODU for Homecoming, and realized that, although she left home alone in the middle of the day, her entourage was waiting for her in Norfolk, and they were together the whole time. The same thing goes when she goes to D.C. She even nixed a trip not too long ago because the friend who wanted her to go was an unreliable companion... and she wasn't about to get left by herself!!
So... why didn't these girls know that?
My septuagenarian mentor said, "ORDINARY CARE... that's all they needed to know. Mothers have been failing their own children, boys and girls, by not teaching them ordinary care!"
You heard the lady... Ordinary Care!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
What are we teaching our kids?
Do our kids REALLY know what learning is all about? Sometimes I think we have concentrated so much on testing and regurgitating facts that students miss the point.
The first few days each term are difficult for every teacher. Between trying to get all the registration paperwork done and trying to learn names, it can be really stressful. Once you get to know students' names, it is easy to get them in check, and once you really get to know them, you can, most likely keep them that way. At least that is the way it was in the "olden days", when students respected teachers and discipline problems were few... the days when a call home was all it took to get students in line and ready to work. Those days are gone.
When I retired from the middle school/ junior high scene, I just knew things would be better. It is no different on the college and university level than it is in middle school, although one would think that it would be easier since the students are pretty much grown and have paid to be there. Most students are no problem, but each semester I encounter at least one "challenge". This type of "challenge" is usually female, and, most often, these students are the laziest and least motivated. I don't think I'd mind too much if they were the most prepared... the ones eager to get the show on the road... but they are usually the ones who, although the syllabus is printed out, complete with the course calendar which tells them which days which things need to be done, have the nerve to ask "What are we supposed to do?" Their in-class posture generally alerts you that they are going to be the ones who will offer resistance. The newly-adopted behavior of keeping their cell phones out after you have begun teaching is a quick "tell", and you must actually TELL those students to put their phones away... unless they have a copy of the text downloaded on the phone, which some of them actually do have, but you can tell which ones don't. Then, after they are clearly not listening, they raise their hands and ask..."What are we supposed to do?" The urge to say..."NOTHING" is clearly in my mind, but I struggle not to let that thought come out. I simply turn around, count to ten in my head, turn back around, and go on with the lecture/lesson.
A new development on the college scene is the "challenge" who "claims" that class discussions make them feel scared, apprehensive, or offended, and they will go so far as to try and "report" (or write on evaluation forms) that something must be wrong with the class or the teacher for making them "think or feel some kind of way", instead of just having facts thrown at them. Typically, they just want me to stand up and lecture... they don't want to participate. In order to participate, they have to listen, think, and contribute... and that is way too much to ask of them. If I stand there and lecture, they are free to let their minds drift into the meaningless zone. Some of them have not read, which makes it hard for them to participate. When they contribute, their classmates and I expect them to have something worthwhile to say... and their classmates will call them on "talking stupid", being naive, racist, or simply ill-informed. I simply monitor the discussion, so that it doesn't get out of hand.
It is then that they are THINKING!
The first few days each term are difficult for every teacher. Between trying to get all the registration paperwork done and trying to learn names, it can be really stressful. Once you get to know students' names, it is easy to get them in check, and once you really get to know them, you can, most likely keep them that way. At least that is the way it was in the "olden days", when students respected teachers and discipline problems were few... the days when a call home was all it took to get students in line and ready to work. Those days are gone.
When I retired from the middle school/ junior high scene, I just knew things would be better. It is no different on the college and university level than it is in middle school, although one would think that it would be easier since the students are pretty much grown and have paid to be there. Most students are no problem, but each semester I encounter at least one "challenge". This type of "challenge" is usually female, and, most often, these students are the laziest and least motivated. I don't think I'd mind too much if they were the most prepared... the ones eager to get the show on the road... but they are usually the ones who, although the syllabus is printed out, complete with the course calendar which tells them which days which things need to be done, have the nerve to ask "What are we supposed to do?" Their in-class posture generally alerts you that they are going to be the ones who will offer resistance. The newly-adopted behavior of keeping their cell phones out after you have begun teaching is a quick "tell", and you must actually TELL those students to put their phones away... unless they have a copy of the text downloaded on the phone, which some of them actually do have, but you can tell which ones don't. Then, after they are clearly not listening, they raise their hands and ask..."What are we supposed to do?" The urge to say..."NOTHING" is clearly in my mind, but I struggle not to let that thought come out. I simply turn around, count to ten in my head, turn back around, and go on with the lecture/lesson.
A new development on the college scene is the "challenge" who "claims" that class discussions make them feel scared, apprehensive, or offended, and they will go so far as to try and "report" (or write on evaluation forms) that something must be wrong with the class or the teacher for making them "think or feel some kind of way", instead of just having facts thrown at them. Typically, they just want me to stand up and lecture... they don't want to participate. In order to participate, they have to listen, think, and contribute... and that is way too much to ask of them. If I stand there and lecture, they are free to let their minds drift into the meaningless zone. Some of them have not read, which makes it hard for them to participate. When they contribute, their classmates and I expect them to have something worthwhile to say... and their classmates will call them on "talking stupid", being naive, racist, or simply ill-informed. I simply monitor the discussion, so that it doesn't get out of hand.
It is then that they are THINKING!
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