On Friendship...

I read a friendship quote the other day that said: "Think to thank" and I thought seriously about the relationship I just "escaped". I thought my friend was a journalist, when, in all actuality, he is a politician... and like politicians, he does not know the meaning of truth.
Friendship is the most important thing, next to family, in my world, and I know that to have a friend, you have to be a friend. Anyone who knows me knows that they can count on me, always. I don't talk friendship... I LIVE friendship.
The one thing that people in a relationship should always be is friends, and although I couldn't see it three years ago when one of my friends and my sister/cousin told me that the man I was dating was too arrogant and self-centered for me (they said, because I have a "giving heart" and he was taking advantage of it), he was not my friend. He was always bringing up the fact that he did thoughtful things for his friends... and he did do those things... but he never did anything thoughtful for me. That should have told me something, right? Of course I didn't listen... and I was even thinking about getting married, but my last trip to see him made me reconsider. I mean, what kind of person takes you to the lake and then tells you that you can get out and go walk along the shore, but he's going to stay in the car? Before that, he at least made attempts, although feeble, to entertain me on my visits, but that time, it was almost like I wasn't there. I never went again!
Unfortunately, I didn't give up on him either. He was my FRIEND, and I never let a friend down. I kept trying to be a friend, kept being a friend. When he whined about his family never encouraging him, I listened and was always encouraging. When he spoke about his dreams and aspirations, I listened and responded with positive suggestions. The only thing I regret is that, when he whined, and sometimes even cried, on the phone about how the world was not treating him right, I made arrangements, sometimes very expensive arrangements, to go to him, thinking I could help. I was his friend. It never once dawned on me that he was not MY friend. He never thanked me for coming to his aid, and he never made any attempt to aid me. He kept saying he loved me, and I've never loved anyone who was not my friend, so I thought he couldn't either. I was so naive and SOOO wrong!!
If I could give advice to anyone, it would be: If you must love anyone, love a friend. A friend will NEVER let you down.
I will keep being a friend until I find a friend who is worthy of my friendship.

Everybody lies?

When did we become a nation of liars? Whatever happened to the ethical code we were brought up to live by... that we would not lie, cheat, or steal?
I have been discussing values and ethics with the classes I teach at a community college and a technical college, and it is the consensus of the under twenty-one members of those groups that everybody lies (cheats and steals, too)! I thought that perhaps the younger students would be upset that they are not trusted, but they seem to believe that it is justified. The older students in those classes are incensed... but they are forced into the "untrusted" category of their peers, since they have only recently returned to academia to better themselves.
I think it is appalling that there must be rules and laws in place that prohibit students from doing things we were allowed to do... like complete take-home tests... because there is no trust in the fact that they won't cheat. They admit that, if given the chance, they will cheat if it means they'll get better grades.
What are we teaching young people? They readily call my attention to the fact that lying is an acceptable norm, especially with politicians, and even with their own parents. It makes me sad to think that these kids believe that all people lie and that it's okay to lie!
It is my hope that we, "baby-boomers" and beyond, stop lying to and in front of these kids... but perhaps we first need to stop lying to ourselves. Let's admit that we went wrong somewhere, and go back to our original teachings... not just because "the Bible tells us so", but also because we know what is good and what is right.
Peace.

What in the world...?

On a true-life crime story the other day, the situation was so comical (yet sad) that I knew it couldn't be real. It was the follow-up of a young man who had killed his mother. That's not funny, right? Wait. The killing took place some years ago, when the guy was a teenager, and this is how it played out.
The guy was talking to his girlfriend on the phone, planning their date for the night. His mother came in and started yelling at him, calling his girlfriend all kinds of names. He very calmly said to the girl on the phone, "I'll talk to you later... I'mma kill this bitch". He put down the phone, got his gun, and killed his mother. Then, he took her body and threw it in the river, went home and took a shower, and went out on his date.
How many times have we felt angry enough to kill somebody, but listened to the voice in our heads that tells us that killing is wrong? What happened to this guy's voice... or to the voices of many youths of today? They are killing each other in record numbers, and it is impossible to get into their minds that life is not a video game... when you kill people, they stay dead!! They don't get it!!
My anger usually only lasts a little while, and then fades into questions. Why would anybody want to hurt me in the way that they did? If I killed them, I'd never know the answer. Fortunately, even though I cannot say that I am a friend to all the people who have hurt me, I have managed to move on without serving a jail term.
About this guy killing his mother... I just don't know! There were many times that I thought my mother was going to kill me (and she had that right... just didn't take advantage of it), but killing her was never on my radar screen. They didn't say anything more about the guy, but I know he'll "burn" for that murder. You just don't kill your mother!!

What are they thinking?

I just heard on the radio that President Obama is planning his annual speech to school children, to be aired during the school day. It is a marvelous thing... Last year it was so inspirational that I shed tears as I listened. I am looking forward to hearing this year's speech.
The problem... the radio newsperson said, "School systems in southside Virginia are DECIDING whether or not they are going to air the speech."
WHAT IS THERE TO DECIDE??? The President is speaking... your job is just to turn the television sets on and let the the kids listen. If he does the same thing he did last year, he will send out a "listening guide" so that kids will be able to discuss the speech and think about some of the great things he has said so that they can apply them to their own lives.
How dumb can these educators be?
They wouldn't know an educational opportunity or a "teachable moment" if it bit them. Maybe that's the real reason why the schools in southside Virginia have such a poor performance record!!
What they should have said is that they'll turn the speech on EARLY, put the kids right in front of the tv, and turn it up as loudly as the kids play their music!!!

Good morning!!!

As an early riser (naturally) it is easy to take advantage of the beauty of morning. It has always been a joy to me to listen to the birds sing and the crickets chirp before the world wakes up... and the noise of traffic and movement take over for the day. It is the one thing that I really looked forward to in retirement... getting up in the morning, but not having to mess up my morning by having to get dressed and get out before the sun comes up! I love it!
Isn't it amazing that, no matter how noisy the area you live in, you can always hear the birds singing!
Today is a great day... but then, every day that I wake up is a great day! I'm just glad to be alive!

I was just thinking...

If I hear another "kid", and that extends to people into their 30's, say "you know what I'm saying", I'm gonna scream!!! No, I do not know what you're saying... You have not uttered a coherent sentence. Am I supposed to read your mind?
In this age of technology, it seems that people have managed to lose the art of communication. With all the available communication devices, you still can't manage to get your thoughts out! Kids send millions of text messages a day, but don't know how to write a sentence. Their texts are just strings of "abbreviations" which may or may not give the reader any insight into what they "are saying".
I just upgraded to a cell phone with a querty keyboard because it just took too long to send my FULL SENTENCE TEXT MESSAGES when I had to hit number keys more than once to make words. Even when I had to do that, I managed to get my point across, even though it took a long time.
We "boomers" do not know what you're saying because you haven't said anything!!! I'd love to know what you're saying..."'splain it to me"!!!!